Choosing the headstone is one of the most meaningful and emotionally heavy decisions, since it is a long-lasting and permanent tribute to your loved ones. We understand that the process may feel overwhelming, especially because practical decisions need to be made while you are still grieving.
With three generations of stonemasons at Churchill’s Memorials, we have successfully guided thousands of families through their grieving process, making the process of choosing the right headstone an easier experience that does not feel like another burden you have to carry. If you’re also considering budget and pricing, you may find our guide on How Much Does a Headstone Cost helpful when planning the right memorial.
The Process of Choosing the Headstone
01. Start with the Cemetery Rules
Each cemetery and churchyard has a specific set of rules that need to be followed. In order to choose the right headstone that will fit all the rules, we precheck the rules and advise you on the limitations you need to have in mind. These limitations and regulations typically cover:
- Dimensions – maximum and minimum headstone dimensions in terms of height, width, and thickness are almost always specified.
- Stone types – some cementeires limit the type of stone that can be used (they stick strictly to natural stones), while others may prohibit using certain colors.
- Shapes – more traditional churchyards may be very specific about the shapes and profiles that can be used.
- Inscription content – some religious sites have restrictions on imagery or wording.
- Foundation requirements – all memorials need to meet stability standards, and different sites have different foundation requirements.
Another very important rule that needs to be considered is the waiting time after burial. Most cemeteries require to pass at least three to twelve months before a permanent headstone can be installed.
02. Choosing the Stone Type
Choosing the material we’ll make the headstone from is one of the most important decisions, since it will have a direct effect on the final look of the headstone. The most common options to choose from include:
- Granite – by far, the most popular choice due to its durability and resistance to weathering, frost, and pollution. It has a high-gloss polish finish, which gives it the most classical and timeless look. The color variations are wide and range from Indian black to Dakota mahogany.
- Marble – for those looking for a timeless elegance, marble is the best choice. It’s softer than granite, meaning finer details can be carved. Since it is a natural stone, it is more prone to deterioration, and it’s a less durable option (when compared to granite).
- Sandstone and limestone – older cemeteries and churchyards may limit the stone usage to sandstone and limestone, in order to preserve the look that has been nurtured for centuries. The warm, organic appearance blends naturally into historic settings. These stones are soft and recommended only when you don’t have another option available.
- Portland stone – this stone is softer than granite, but more durable than limestone, with a soft-grey finish that appears after years of exposure to harsh weather conditions. It is the best option if you want to fit into a timeless look.
Our team helps you choose the right type of stone for the headstone, depending on the vision you had in mind and the specific requirements the cemetery has in place.
03. Choosing the Shape and Style
The character of the headstone is defined by its shape. There are several options you can consider when choosing the shape and style:
- Lawn headstones – this is the most common type nowadays, with an upright tablet that is set into the ground. The profiles to choose from include square, ogee, round, scroll, and pointed top – each one of them giving a different final look.
- Kerb set memorials – this type of headstone is designed to surround the full perimeter of the grave, with a stone kerb and a cover slab. Kerbs give the families a more defined space, and allow further personalization (stones, chippings, vases, plants, etc).
- Book memorials – they are shaped to represent an open book, which can be placed flat or at an angle. They convey special messages and narratives, and are often the best choice to pay tribute to those who loved and enjoyed reading, education, and storytelling.
- Cross memorials – with a long tradition, cross memorials are popular in different religions. They make a strong visual statement, and carry spiritual meaning and strong message.
- Bespoke memorials – beyond the standardly available memorials, it is possible to create and produce a headstone in a unique and different shape – heart, star, angel, or other silhouette. The production takes longer and costs more, but families receive the memorial that truly reflects the personality and passion of their loved ones.
Regardless of whether you already have the idea of what you want for your loved ones, or not, our team of professionals is there to navigate you through the process and help you make the final decision.
04. Choosing the Inscription
The words that will be placed on the headstone represent the family’s last message and a long-standing tribute to their loved ones, which is why choosing them can be time-consuming process. As a part of the process, the family needs to choose the font and the lettering style.
The minimum information the headstones need to carry includes full name, date of birth, date of death (or just the years), and a short phrase, epitaph, or line of verse. Some families prefer to include a relationship, such as “beloved husband, father, and grandfather”, which adds warmth and context.
05. Choosing the Design and Decoration
Final touches come in form of additional details that can be included to the design. These may include selecting different motifs and imagery (roses, lilies, doves, etc.) that can be carved into the headstone. Some families choose to place photographs (ceramic, or laser-etched).
Another accessories the families can choose from include vases in matching styles, glass stones, and/or chippings (for keb set memorials). These small details can add warmth to regular visits and also serve their practical purpose.
Conclusion
Choosing the right headstone is a process that requires time, and families are not obliged to choose everything at once. At Churchill’s Memorials, we understand the importance of the decision you have to make, and offer professional guidance and advice that will guide you towards your decision.
It is always easier when the families have the desired design in their mind, but it is completely normal and okay if you don’t. Our professionally trained staff is there to help you choose the right memorial for your loved ones.
Need Help Choosing the Right Headstone for Your Loved One?
Three generations of stonemasons have served families across the UK for more than 50 years. Our experienced team will help you choose the right headstone that pays tribute to your loved ones. Call us at 0137 674 8644 to schedule your consultations.